In The Silence That Follows
by CassandraPaige394
Summary: An Attack on Titan one-shot, describing the aftermath of battle and the emotions that soldiers must never show. Told from an OC's point of view. No ships. Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titans, etc. However, the two OC's (one of them being the unnamed narrator) are indeed mine.


I own my OC's (the narrator and Jakob). That is all; I own nothing else except the computer I'm typing this on.

* * *

**In The Silence That Follows**

**(Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin One-Shot)**

_*OC's PoV*_

We had returned… _victorious_.

It was a small victory, indeed – the road was clear for now, but more monsters were sure to return – but it was a victory nonetheless.

We had spent almost a week beyond the wall, running on very little food and very little sleep. My hands felt like 10-kilogram weights, and my legs: hollow old logs, as I wearily marched back into Trost after the other members of the Survey Corps.

A huge crowd had awaited our arrival. There must have been dozens… hundreds… all lined up, cheering and shouting and laughing. But I could not see their faces. I did not hear their cries of joy. I stared straight ahead at the bloodied green cloak that marched before me, and a single thought replayed itself in my mind, over and over and over…

_He was my friend… My brother…_

We had suffered only six casualties this time. Seven, if you count the new kid who took one terrified glance at a titan and deserted us all. Nobody knows where he ran to or if he's still alive; my bet is that he didn't make it very far.

But one of them was Jakob… He was in the 105th with me. A tall, sturdy, intimidating figure… But he had the gentlest heart of anyone I had ever met. He was one of our best, and had graduated third in our class. He and Commander Erwin had been close, or so it seemed to me; but if Jakob's death had affected the commander at all, it didn't show in the slightest. In fact, nobody seemed to care. It was as if they didn't matter at all…

I was barely conscious of the fact that someone was looking at me. I could feel the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I shifted my gaze to my right and glanced upwards, to see Captain Levi riding along beside me. His gray eyes were empty of emotion, as usual, but his expression was just a tad softer than normal, and his eyebrows were slightly raised. He turned his head forwards again the moment my eyes met his, and I thought saw his lips form the words that I had yearned to hear…

"I'm sorry about Jakob."

Before the realization could register on my face, the captain had trotted ahead. I wondered if it had been just my imagination, and decided that it probably was.

Erwin had told me to take a day or two to myself, to my surprise; I told him that this was unnecessary, but he insisted. I suppose that, perhaps, Jakob's… _passing_… had affected him after all.

It was evening by the time I unlocked the door to my small house near the inner wall of Trost. Once the door was shut firmly behind me, I changed into some more comfortable clothes and plopped down on my bed… I was too exhausted – physically and emotionally – to do anything else…

It must have been somewhere around midnight when I awoke from my dreamless sleep. At first, I couldn't remember where I was, or what had happened before… But as the sleep evaporated from my eyes, and I gazed out my window at the black, starless sky, I remembered.

_Jakob…_

Every bone in my body ached as I somehow managed to push myself to a stand. I slowly lumbered into the kitchen and grabbed a matchbox from one of the drawers. I lit some candles and an oil lamp, and even placed a stick of incense in the center of the table. (The smoke calms me, somehow.) Standing on my tiptoes to reach a high shelf, I took down a box of tea; there was hardly a serving left of my favorite Earl Grey - which I had tried to save for a special occasion - but _now_ seemed as good a time as any…

I curled up on an old cushioned chair while I sipped at my tea, letting the smooth blend slide down my throat; the tea was almost too hot to drink, but I paid no mind to that. All I could think about was Jakob… I know what you're thinking, and I'll tell you now that you're wrong: There were _no_ romantic feelings between him and I. But he _was_ my partner, my friend, and my brother. Even way back when we were still trainees, he was always looking out for me.

He kept saying that I should've joined the Garrison; that I would be safer there, and I'd still be able to protect my friends and family like I wanted. But he knew me better… He knew that I didn't have the patience. He knew I couldn't stand sitting still and waiting and twiddling my thumbs. I needed to be actively doing _something. _And if it meant throwing myself head-first into new and terrifying dangers, then so be it: I _needed_ adventure. He knew that. So he said, "Then I'm coming with you." And he said it with a smile, like there wasn't a doubt in his mind that he'd follow me to the ends of the Earth, and that he would always be by my side. Jakob was my big brother, my protector…

But in the end, Jakob sacrificed himself for us. He agreed to be a diversion – to be bait – so that we could succeed in our mission. The last thing he said to me was, "Take care out there, sis! I'm sorry I won't be there to protect you any longer, but you really never needed me to anyways…"

_Dammit… Why did he have to go and die on me?_

The next morning, I found myself sprawled across the couch. An empty teacup sat on the table. Weak sunlight streamed through the window. I stared at the ceiling for – I don't know how long – until there was a sharp knock on the door. I heaved myself off the couch and smoothed the wrinkles from my clothes with the palms of my hands. Another knock, louder this time. I ran my fingers through my short brown hair as I jogged over to the door, my bare feet barely making a sound on the old, worn rugs. I unlocked the door and opened it about a foot, to see…

_Jakob? It couldn't be…_

A wave of emotions crashed over me. A huge rush of relief and elation and indescribable feelings I hadn't felt in forever. But then it hit me again...

_It can't be him._

He's dead.

I blinked, and Jakob disappeared, along with all the happiness I had felt in that one miniscule moment. A short, blonde-haired young man stood in his place, and an emotionless mask creeped across my features once more.

I was Armin. He carried two small boxes. "I brought you some breakfast," he chirped, an inkling of a smile on his childish face. "I thought it might be nice to have some company…"

I didn't quite know what to say, but I was almost glad that someone had thought about me. However, my silence caused his face to fall slightly. He looked disappointed. Slightly hurt, even. He looked at the ground and mumbled, "I didn't think it was right for someone to be all alone, so-"

"Thank you," I said. I was surprised at the coarse, dry sound of my own voice. It took me a moment to realize that I must have been crying earlier; Armin didn't seem to care. He just… _smiled_. A relieved, yet sad kind of smile. I did my best to smile back, and even that small effort made me feel like a bit of weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Not a lot, but enough.

Hardly thinking about the fact that I _never _let anyone into my house - besides Jakob - I let him in. I didn't know Arlert very well, but something about him told me that he was okay...


End file.
